I want to be a kid again. I want to laugh again, the high tinkling laughter of full of emotions that are good, that feel even better. I want to read and finish books again, each and every time feeling as if I have emerged as a new person-the feeling will fade, an hour, a day but it is one of the most magnificent feelings in the world. I want to wait at my bed at night and pray for my parents to arrive safely home—to hear that distinct sound of car engine entering the garage is exhilarating and relieving and wonderful and I would hug them and kiss them and when I go to sleep tell them goodnight and that I love them before I close my eyes in contentment and dream dreams I forget in the morning.
I want to be young again, when time was just a concept of day and night, of an hour, of a minute, a year- ignoring it like a forgotten playmate. I want to look at sunsets without feeling sad and at sunrises without trepidation. I want to remember the rain as comforting, as something that heightens the contentment I feel when I am snuggled up in the bed, watching The Suite Life of Zack and Cody with my brothers. I want to remember typhoons as an excuse to not sleep all night and watch TV at my parent’s bedroom. I want my summers spent in a beach nearby, watching my father throw a stick to sea, watching our dog get it, worrying about him getting drowned but knowing he will not.
I want to be a kid again, that’s it. That’s what I want to be.
Saw your INTP post where you didn't go back to change or correct things. Aside from not editing (I always revise several times) you very much reminded me of when I post long text things. Not usually on here; generally I do this on my internet 'home', deviantArt. Anyway, you really reminded me of how I write =] Particularly my last entry. It was pretty similar... That was on school stress but I was talking and then crying at the end like you were. Anyway, just commenting ^^; Nice to meet you ^^
Yes, we tend to be very frustrated writers. I have trouble writing essays for school too because we generally tend to think first—analysis paralysis, if you want to be technical about it. Anyways, nice to meet you too!
“I hate MTV. They don’t care about me. They don’t care about music. They don’t care about songs. They don’t care about art. They don’t care about people. They don’t care about blood, life, dreams. And the average youth of America - those are the ones that shouted at me and beat me up. Why do I want to play for them?”—Jeff Buckley (via moodswingwhiskey)
I wanted to make a post entitled Mumford And Puns but I can’t think of any relevant puns so I’m staring at this white blank post, but at the end of the day I suppose I can look at this blog and say “I gave you my all”
This is me not thinking. This is me typing. This is me not pausing to inspect what I did. Ooops, I paused and deleted. Am I rational person? Why does this bother me. Oops I paused again. Is this awkeward what I am doing? I just closed my eyes. Maybe because I’m actually not thinking of anything. My mind is one cluttered drawer full of useless things I don’t want or need at all. That’s what I think. My mind is like a helium balloon. I feel it is empty like it will float upwards if not only for the anchor attached to it. I feel the weight of my brain. The dead weight. Like pressurized gas inside. That’s it just gas. No brain at all.
I just inspected what I wrote down. I just spelled awkward wtong. It’s okay I will not change it. I just read something on the internet today. It was about something ironic and sad and I felt my chest constricting but I was smiling in the end. I spelled wrong wrong. Am I unintentionally wait what is that word yes am unintentionally mocking myself?
This is frustrationg. I don’t know what to write about. Why is that? Why do some people know what to write about? WHYY WHY WHY WHY. Why am I crying right now. Am I just frustrated? Maybe I am sad. Why am I crying? Maybe it’s because I am a female. Why do I feel so disappointed with myself. I do not even like myself. I am ambivalent. It is a hatelove or perhaps a lovehate. No definitely not. I just wish I was alone. I wish I was alone. Why do I wish to be alone. WHYY. Because I love my family. I will only love my family I think. I love my family more than I love myself I think.
It doesn’t matter actually. I want to be what they want me to be. There a huge weight has been lifted. I feel like my helium balloon is floating now up up up awy to the moon where there are no human beings only rocks and seas with no water.
“It’s true, my mom is a nervous person from a neurotic family. She told me I was precious when I was young so she kept me fearful of everything and it turned me into a recluse. I still have separation anxiety. Now I don’t like being away from my girlfriend. I also have an Oedipus complex. My girlfriend is older than me and looks similar to my mom. I call her mom while we make love.”—Jesse Eisenberg (via jesseeisenberg)
Well, was it hard to get Jesse back after his Oscar nomination for The Social Network... was he a diva?
[laughing] Lucky for us, we shot before he got nominated, so it hadn't gone to his head. Now he's completely insufferable, he's just a--no, Jesse's the most humble guy. I think he's embarrassed that he got nominated for an Oscar.
Yeah, there's no ego whatsoever with him.
“He’s a genius. He’s the funniest person I’ve ever met. He’s the most honest person I’ve ever met, to the point where you’re like, ‘You must be kidding, because the things you’re saying are so honest.’ He’s just so open and lovely. He’s making a Woody Allen movie right now, and I almost cried when I heard that because those are kindred spirits. Oh, God, he’s just fantastic.”—Emma Stone on Jesse Eisenberg (via vulnerablecreatures)
“Eisenberg says Allen ‘has made my favorite movies of all time, my top five: ‘Crimes and Misdemeanors,’ ‘Husbands and Wives,’ ‘Hannah and Her Sisters,’ ‘Manhattan,’ ‘Annie Hall.’’ He also says he’s a fan of Allen’s latest, “Midnight in Paris.”
Better kisser: Kristen Stewart or Emma Stone?
If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me this, I would have ten cents because I did an interview in Scotland where I was asked the same question. I have thought about this a lot and have created a Venn diagram detailing where the two young women overlap. It's a complicated chart that is available on my website, JesseEisenbergGotToFakeKissFamousWomen.org.
I feel uplifted and awful at the same time whenever I watch Andrew Garfield’s interviews. Uplifted because I know that someone out there has really that big of a heart. Awful because I know I couldn’t have that big of a heart.